There are many ups and downs in the life of a marriage. I work with couples dealing with a wide variety of problems, but one of the most challenging and personal areas in a relationship are those involving sexual problems. Renee is in a difficult, but fairly common situation.
Shervin Assari does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. Sex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. Sex feeds our identity and is a core element of our social life.
Does the thought of sexual contact make you shudder? Do you tend to avoid or limit sexual activity? Do you find sexual touch or even romantic touch, such as hugging or kissing your partner, unappealing or even repulsive?
I DO need it. Sexual rejection not only affects how you feel about your sex life- it affects how you feel about your marriage. In fact, Dr. Joe Beam earned his PhD studying the correlation between marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction.
People sometimes tell me they know a couple married 20 years whose sex life is still as good as it ever was. Here's what I tell them in return: "There are only three possibilities. One: This couple is lying.
When we do once, maybe twice a yearhe is interested, but it is me who initiates it. We have argued a lot about this because I feel our relationship has turned into a friendship. We do love each other and this is the only problem we have, but it has had a serious impact on my self-confidence.
Although many experts believe that a majority of marriages today are in distress because of financial reasons, problems with sex and sexuality rank high, too. In fact, the topic of sex is the number one problem discussed in online relationship forums. It seems easier to talk to a stranger online than to your own partner!
We sent out Part 1 of this topic which focused on women not having sexand within minutes we started receiving comments from women complaining about their husbands not wanting sex. So many people wanted to know why I took the slanted approach of wives who are refusing their husbands. Honestly, I took that approach because that is what I have been seeing in my office in droves lately.
This young wife and her husband waited for all the physical stuff until their wedding day, including the kiss. Not so this couple. I have stopped because it makes me feel rejected when he does that, but I really would like to be more intimate that way. And if I try to move his hand there while in bed he resists me again rejection feeling.