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In eighth grade, I lost my best friend. I did not lose her the way you misplace a book or your favorite shirt. I lost my best friend because her adult brother sexually assaulted me.

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Every nine minutesa child is sexually assaulted in the U. No matter what, the abuse was not your fault. If you experienced sexual abuse as a childyou may encounter a range of short- and long-term effects that many survivors face.

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For some people the mere discussion of shame is in itself shameful. Yet, all of us have lived with the bitter feelings of shame at one time or another. Sexual abuse is so shameful however, because tragically the person who should feel the shame of it — the abuser — usually never owns it and the victim then carries it.

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It is also Human Rights Day. Violence against women is among the most wide-spread human rights violations globally. It is unacceptable that in the 21 st century, one in three women experiences violence at least once in her lifetime. While progress has been made, it is important to acknowledge that there are still far too many women and girls who experience violence.

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Many obstetrician-gynecologists knowingly or unknowingly provide care to abuse survivors and should screen all women for a history of such abuse. Depression, anxiety, and anger are the most commonly reported emotional responses to childhood sexual abuse. Gynecologic problems, including chronic pelvic pain, dyspareunia, vaginismus, nonspecific vaginitis, and gastrointestinal disorders are common diagnoses among survivors.

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Verified by Psychology Today. The Compassion Chronicles. Several months ago I wrote a blog post about how self-compassion can heal the shame of childhood wounds.

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It is when we start understanding the cause and effect relationship between what happened to the child that we were, and the effect it had on the adult we became, that we can Truly start to forgive ourselves. It is only when we start understanding on an emotional level, on a gut level, that we were powerless to do anything any differently than we did that we can Truly start to Love ourselves. The hardest thing for any of us to do is to have compassion for ourselves.

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Due to the advent of the MeToo movement and two new documentaries about famous people being accused of sexually abusing children Michael Jackson and R. Kellythe issue of childhood sexual abuse has become the focus of more attention than it has been for years. In the past, numerous studies have documented the fact that child sexual abuse has serious and lasting psychological consequences, including: depression, suicidal tendencies, sexual dysfunction, self-mutilation, chronic anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, dissociation, memory impairment and somatization. Impairment in interpersonal functioning has also been documented Classen,

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Competence in treating the victims of sexual abuse and exploitation requires an understanding of shame, the complex and multilayered emotion triggered when we have been exposed or when our self-esteem has been reduced. The experience of shame is initially physiologic, involving a cortical shock momentarily halting higher cognitive function, but followed immediately by a host of associations to previous experiences of shame. Acutely, the affect itself impels hiding, while defenses against it include anger, humor, silence, and a wide range of behaviors.

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If you need immediate information you can call one of these hour toll-free hotlines. It involves feeling unworthy of respect or positive consideration by others, feeling like you deserve to be judged and criticized, and feeling embarrassed in front of others. Like guilt, shame is hard to bear.

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